The Truth or Dare Game
by The Dragon Lady
Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione get stuck in a game of Truth or Dare with an author on a sugar high that likes to play with the character's minds. (Humor, hopefully! ;-)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer thingy: I own not Harry Potter. ::sighs:: I wish! Then they could all be my little slaves! Muhahahaha!!! Dance Harry Potter characters! Dance! (Sorry, sugar high.)  
  
A/N: I know what you're thinking! "Not another Truth or Dare fic!" But hey, I've always wanted to write one of these babies! So stand back! Here goes nothin'! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Chapter One: The Game Starts  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in the common room, board as hell, when suddenly, Hermione jumped up.  
  
"I've got it!" She screamed. "Truth or Dare!"  
  
"What the hell is that?" Ron asked.  
  
"It's a muggle game." She said. "It should entertain us for a little while." Hermione continued to explain the rules of the game. (Hey, I know, I should write the rules in, but I don't want to, and anyone above the age of seven should know the rules!)  
  
"Sounds like it beats the crap out of just sitting here!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"But who else is gonna play, we only got three people?" Harry asked.  
  
Just then, there was a huge explosion in the center of the room. Bright red sparks spread everywhere, and once all the smoke had cleared, out of it came, ...... The author. "Count me in!" I said to the three of them.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Harry asked.  
  
"Who do you think I am? I'm the one creating all this madness!" I said.  
  
"Oh," They all said in chorus.  
  
"Duh." I said.  
  
"What's your name?" Harry asked.  
  
"Why don't you look at the top of the page?" I asked, amazed at how dumb Harry could be sometimes.  
  
"The, Dragon, Lady." Harry read aloud.  
  
"Yeah," I said, "Good boy Harry! You can read!"  
  
"Are we gonna play or not?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yeah, but we still should have more people to play." Hermione said.  
  
"Leave that to me!" I said as I snapped my fingers. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bunch of the other characters appeared. The group consisted of Fred, George, Ginny, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Parvati, Lavender, Malfoy, and Cho.  
  
"Uh, what the heck are we doing here?" Cho asked. At this point, Harry was staring at Cho like his eye balls were magnets and Cho's head was a refrigerator.  
  
"Your voice, it's so musical..." Harry said in a daze.  
  
"Back off, Potter." Cho answered.  
  
Everyone was talking to one another, making enough noise to wake the dead.  
  
"OK! LISTEN UP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "We're gonna play Truth or Dare, and you're gonna like it!"  
  
"What if we don't wanna!" Malfoy yelled. Suddenly, Malfoy was hit on the head with a large elephant that fell from the sky.  
  
"Ok," Malfoy said, as he tried to breath. "I get the idea."  
  
"Ok." I said as I snapped my fingers. The elephant disappeared. (I'm gonna write in script style now. It's easier, just so you know.)  
  
Everybody sat down in a circle on the floor and the game started.  
  
Me (TDL): Ok, first victim. Hermione, truth or dare?  
  
Hermione: Dare.  
  
TDL: Ok, you asked for it: I dare you to go up to Proff. Binns, and in your sexiest voice, say, "Why hello handsome. You're looking very hott today. Can I cool you down?" And you have to wear this! A pair of skimpy, low rise shorts and a bright orange bikini top appeared out of nowhere and floated over to Hermione.  
  
Hermione: No way! I'd look like a slut in that thing!  
  
TDL: Oh well. You choose dare. You have to do it.  
  
Hermione (under her breath.): Damn ruddy American.  
  
TDL: What was that?  
  
Hermione: Nothing! I'll be right back. (Runs up to her dormitory to change.)  
  
OK! So what did you think? Did it suck? Was it the best thing you've ever heard? Tell me please! R/R, but be kind! Nothing mean please. I don't know if my fragile heart could take it!  
  
Hermione: Fragile, ha! If you had a fragile heart, you wouldn't be making me do this stupid dare!  
  
I snap my fingers again, and a giant elephant lands on top of Hermione.  
  
Well, until next time! C-ya! ;-) 


	2. Hermione, Binns, and More Elephants

Wow, I got the next chapter up pretty quick didn't I? (Pats self on back) Good Girl! Anyway, I was lucky. I had a little trouble with my computer (Points to really ancient THING on desk, which is smoking and making weird noises) and it took me a good long time to get the upload to work.  
  
But, anyway, thanks to the people who were so kind as to review! (Wink!) And I hope ya'll like the next chapter!  
  
Hermione came down the stairs about five minutes later, wearing the funky yet very sexy outfit. As she came down, every boy, except Ron, who covered his eyes, fainted.  
  
TDL: For God's sake! Get up! (Makes a bunch of water buckets appear and splash them in the face.)  
  
Ron: Hermione! Put some clothes on! You're scaring me!  
  
Hermione: It's not MY fault! SHE made me! (Points at TDL.)  
  
TDL: (Quietly twiddling her thumbs.)  
  
All Guys (Minus Ron): Damn 'Mione! You're a fox!  
  
Hermione: Thank-you! (Poses for guys, who whistle.) Now can I get this over with?  
  
TDL: Sure thing! Hey! Binns! Someone wants to talk with you!  
  
Binns: (Appears) Yes?  
  
Hermione: (Walks up to Binns, whispers into his ear. Straitens up.) So what do you think, Binny Bunny?  
  
Binns: What do I think? (Evil grin creeps onto his face.) Come away with me Hermy, my love!  
  
(Hermione is grabbed by Binns, and pulled to the door and runs into in when Binns glides through it.)  
  
Binns: (Sticks head through door, looking horrified.) I'm so sorry Hermy! I forgot! I love you! (Tries to kiss Hermy, uh, I mean, Hermione.)  
  
Hemione: Get off me, you old goat!  
  
Binns: But I thought you loved me!  
  
Hermione: Well, then it's over!  
  
Binns: NO! The first girlfriend I've had in sixty years, and I blow it! I'll kill myself!  
  
Harry: Uh, Binns, I you're already dead.  
  
Binns: Why, yes! I am! Then I guess I don't have to do anything.  
  
Cho: I'll go with you, Binny Boy!  
  
Everyone Else: (Stares)  
  
Cho: Well, ever since Harry broke my heart-  
  
Harry: I did not!  
  
Cho: I've been looking at older men.  
  
Binns: Yes! Happy day! I get the hott one! I get the hott one! (Grabs Cho, opens door this time, and floats away, dragging Cho with him.)  
  
Dean: Eww! Very, very wrong image appearing in my head! Get out! Out! (Smacks himself.)  
  
Ron: Well, ghosts need love too, I suppose.  
  
Dean: NO!!! I'm seeing it again!  
  
TDL: (Whips wand out and stuns Dean.) Well, at least now we can move on now. Okay, Seamus, Truth or-  
  
Hermione: Hey! Wait a second! It's my turn!  
  
TDL: In a regular game, yes, but in mine, sorry! I AM THE SUPREME RULER! I GET TO DARE AND QUESTION WHO I LIKE! I- (Suddenly stops mid-sentence.) Uh, excuse me for one second. (Runs over to desk and picks up bottle. Dumps half its stuff into her mouth.) Sorry, had to take my Ritalin. Now, where were we? Ah, yes! Seamus! Truth or Dare?  
  
Seamus: (still goggling at Hermione.) Uh, what?  
  
TDL: Man! (Snaps fingers and elephant falls on Seamus' head.  
  
Seamus: Is it raining?  
  
TDL: Well, that didn't work. Hermione, why don't you go change, then?  
  
Hermione: Gladly! (Goes to change.)  
  
Harry: Why didn't you tell her to do that before?  
  
TDL: I like dropping elephants on people's heads.  
  
Everyone else: Oh...  
  
(Hermione comes down, fully clothed.)  
  
Seamus: Hello? It's very dark in here. What happened?  
  
Everyone: An elephant fell on your head when you were checking 'Mione out.  
  
Seamus: Oh, well then- WHAT???!!! Get it off me!  
  
Well, that's it. Please R/R! I need some sugjestions about what to write next! And how to demolish Seamus' little mind as much as possible!  
  
Seamus: Get this frickin' thing OFF me!!!  
  
Well, more than it already has been. I'd be pretty much nuts if an elephant's arse end were sitting on me... 


	3. Micheal Jackson, Exlax, and, uh, Stuff

Okay, before I start, I'm really sorry I took so long to write this, but I have a

good reason! The ancient piece of crap I own (also known as a really old computer ) finally died on me. So, I had to wait to write, which, believe me, was killing me!

Anyway, thank-you to the peoples who reviewed! Love you all lots! ::Bows down and kisses their feet:: Now, in case you don't remember:

I don't own Harry Potter! They have all come from the brilliant, yet twisted mind of J.K. Rowling. (Hey, she did kill off Sirius, so there's gotta be something wrong with her!) The only thing I kinda own is the elephants, and they're on lone from Ringling Brother's Circus. Well, at least I own my kitty! Meow!

Recap: Seamus is still under the elephant, which is on lone, Hermione has her clothes back on, and TDL (me) is giddy with joy for no reason.

Seamus: My head's starting to hurt! PLEASE get it off!

TDL: Any ideas?

Fred: You could try some peanuts.

George: Are you mad?! No explosions?! No extensive property damage?! Where is your Weasley sprit going?! Don't you dare pull a Percy on me!!!

Fred: You are absolutely right dear brother. Where was my head? I am truly sorry, George, it shan't happen again.

George: That's better. Now, why don't you give us a _real_ suggestion?

Fred: Of course! give me a second... ::Gets into a thinking position:: I got it! Dynamite! We just put some under the elephant and-

TDL: Much as I would like to see an elephant fly ::Thinks fondly of the many times she watched Dumbo as a little kid:: I can't have you damaging the animal. It's due back at Ringling Brother's on Thursday.

George: Than what do you propose we do?

TDL: I got it! ::Faces the elephant with her back to everyone else. Pulls on a rubber mask:: Hey! Mr. Pacaderm!

Elephant: ::Turns and looks at her. Screams, or would scream if elephants could, runs away, and leaves a big hole in the dorm door::

Harry: Wow, how'd you do that?

TDL: ::Turns around. She is wearing, (Gasp!) a mask that makes her look exactly like Michael Jackson!::

EE: Oh my God! It's too much! Take it off!

TDL: ::Takes off mask::

EE: ::Sighs:: That was close.

Seamus: ::Stands up, rubbing his head:: Anybody got an aspirin?

Hermione: ::Gives him a pill:: Here you go, it's, er, extra strength.

Seamus: ::Takes pill:: Thanks!

TDL: OK, Ron, Truth or Dare? Let's give Seamus some time to get rid off his headache.

Ron: Uh, Truth.

TDL: Cool! Uh... Who in this room do you think is the hottest?

Ron: Do I have to say?

TDL: Well duh!

Ron: OK, well, uh... DEAN!

EE: ::Stares::

Ron: What?

TDL: Right... Let's just leave that one be...

Seamus: AAAHHH!!! Bathroom! ::Runs to closest toilet::

TDL: What was that all about?

Hermione: ::Starts laughing uncontrollably:: Hahahahaha! The Exlax worked!

TDL: What?!

Hermione: Well, that's what he gets for staring at my boobs!

All Guys: ::Avert gaze at once, except for Ron and Dean. Dean being knocked out and Ron staring at Dean::

Well, that's it! Please r/r! Next chapter: Ron's dream comes true! But I won't post anything more until I get five reviews! ::Evil smile, followed by evil laughter, followed by evil coughing fit:: Love ya'll! Bye!


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